18 and hot-blooded. I might dispense useful information once in a while


Ashes and dusts

when i was in europe i felt so happy that i thought all my sadness will go away. but when i come back to singapore, i breathe the stale air and i feel my life is in a standstill again. All those torrents of unhappy emotions came crashing back like waves that could erode shores and destroy habitats.

Travelling is a type of escapism but that doesnt mean it could transform your life. I have to change my lifestyle and do something groundbreaking.

I keep having escapist thoughts when I'm unhappy. I just wanna steal a boat and set it out on the choppy waters and get to the secluded islands. I'll then rock the boats, drive it up the bridge, burn the god damn bridge and start a campfire to celebrate my newfound freedom and independence. Freedom to. And freedom from.

Away from throngs and crowds of people who are too quick to judge behind their tainted glasses. I, too, should take off my glasses and wipe them periodically. I have been polluted and my heart is heavy from prejudice.

Bring me to a place where animals are treated the same as humans. Where freedom of speech is a right,not a priviledge. A place where I can protest without being thrown behind bars. A place where I can wake up during unearthly hours to paint graffiti for the sake of art. A place where dead bodies of suicide commiters won't be hand cuffed. This is my life, damn it, maybe it belongs to my parents too and maybe to a god (if he/she exists) but definitely not a collective state.

I guess I'm a hopeless romantic and manic depressive kind of person and perhaps I really need to break free from these kinda train of thoughts or I'll end up like those suicidal artists. It's so not cool.

I don't want to go back to school where people have serpent tongues and spit poisonous venoms just because you act different and having to work monotonously like a robot for your grades just scares the hell out of me. Repetition and rote memorizing just makes my mind so dull. I wanna enjoy moments of life.

I'm infected by bohemianism lately. Just roaming around to search for meaning and purpose with the company of like-minded people. But how do I find people like that in this industrialised and realistic, often cruel society?

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