18 and hot-blooded. I might dispense useful information once in a while

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How to gain enlightenment

“Arriba, Arriba, Andele‘, Andele‘, yee-ha, yee-ha!!!!!

ho hum. I need to speed up my gear, get my act up.

Borrowed books from the school library yesterday to ward off my boredom, all thanks to Andre. I have two academcic books over-dued for 6 months, planning to return them only after o’s. Oh, I’m a man with virtues.

I feel so detached from the world today. I need to gain enlightenment somehow. Maybe I should follow Siddhartha Gautama’s footsteps and sit under the bodhi tree. Then, what if an apple drops down? That’ll be Sir Isaac Newton all over again, hurhur.

I’m being flooded with a torrent of conflicting emotions now. Oh, I shouldn’t leave my mind void like that. Unhealthy. Should not let my brain be a hollow chamber and allow it to build castles in the sky. But Einstein found the E=mc2 formula through that way. But I’m not Einstein, haha.

We have so many standards to live up to everyday. I have failed terribly. I have to please cynical old sods, fit into the crowd. Pretend to like people I dont like. I think I’m too skeptical sometimes. Oh, I have so many prejudices, thanks to mr.confucius and my politician-alike family.

People who have sex before marriage are bad. People who have one-night stands are promiscuous

People who smoke are uncouth. Being disrespectful to adults will get strike by lightning.

People who dont study have no goals. Must upkeep racial harmony, so that we will have regional stability and people will invest in us. Must study hard hard to upkeep singapore’s economy.Bear a cradle full of children to save the economy.

Do not be late for school. cannot be gay. gasp. or your mum will throw you out of the house.

Being a chinese is so difficult, everything is about upholding the tradition and flying the flag up high. But at least I’m better than my ancestors who have to wear ponytails. I should count my blessings already.

Ya, whatever. Maybe I should slacken a bit and start to see the good in everyone else, even if they practised sodomy before wtf. *Beams* Humans are so double-standardized sometimes. Teachers tell us not to say fuck and I swear I heard more than three teachers in our school say the big fuck word.

Maybe I should be more optimistic and smile with my mouth full of teeth so that everyone will like me. Oh, who cares about liking me anyway, sigh. I’m overly sarcastic. I should restrain myself a little. Praise everyone around me, even if they don’t deserve it.

Oh, seriously my social skills are crumbling. I should stop being so schizo and assume things. Stop being so preposterous in my presumptions. I like to assume that everyone hates me, and I’ll adjust myself to fit into the norm. I’ll very hard to crack old hard jokes and make everyone rattle with glee. Then when I find that people don’t appreciate my joke, I’ll cringe.

Oh, this entry is so sadistic wtf. It sounds like the person who wrote this just slit his wrist.

okaes, buaix. I’m cheerfullx nowx. hehex. buaix. Imma gonna study A maths now.

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