Jimo's cavern

Having cold weather hives now, in germany. best gift from santa wtf, thank you a lot. I must have been a very good boy this year.

I will be away for 17 days(refer to post below), dunno if will update or not.

However I have uploaded old archives from my old blog! Haha, my writing used to be full of literary techniques and puns back then. All because I had been reading avidly and emulating my favourite authors :) However, I sounded a tad irritating when I was 16!

My favourite posts will be:

Marriages and happy endings
judgement day, end of the world is tomolo
Prodigal parties and pleasant panties (pantries)
Ridiculous results

I’m a weapon of massive consumption. That’s not my fault but that’s how I’m programmed to function!
I…need…the..help…of..a..psychiatrist, to weed out this peculiar habit that has taken root.

I consume to medicate my miseries!

Levis, converse, Nike, Fila…

No lah, most of these shoes are given by my mother’s rich taiwanese friend who has migrated to England. I have inherited the frugal genes from my parents, splurging so much will only result in me breaking out in hives wtf. Need to save the red packets for rainy days.

Only the bata shoes is bought by me T_T.

I’m mr hand-me-down.

I had almost vanished into thin air because my working schedule had been as tight as erm….a virgin’s asshole.

Mon- 7am-7pm

Tues- 5pm-1.30am

wed- 7am-7pm

thurs- 7am-7pm

my sister applied to be an ice-cream seller at Ben n Jerry’s.
they asked her to send photo.
She sent.
Then she got rejected.
kuakuakua.

“Ben & Jerry’s is dedicated to the policy of non-discrimination in employment on any basis including gender, age, ethnicity or religious affiliation.”

Ok they didn’t mention about discriminating based on looks.

Josie told me that she got served by an unattractive and old Auntie at Ben n Jerry’s the other time.

Anyone cares to verify this snippet of information?

Yesterday’s function at the raffles hotel ballroom was a celebration for the promotion of some armee boys organised by SAF. Participants are all gin nahs and ahsia kias.

Everything was easy breezy japaneasy except when I had a tumultuous time balancing martini glasses on my tray. Martini glasses have erm high centre of gravity and a small base, so you get the drift.

Those armee boys brought their gfs over and oh my all of them were exquisite beauties and were well-endowed. They had hour-glass bodies that ticked like a clock.

All the guys were brimming good health of taut figure and tanned rosy cheeks too. Oh my, I developed inferiority complex directly on the spot. I felt like burrowing a hole on the ground and stuff my head inside. I felt like the ugliest person in the ballroom.

Everyone was acute and discerning, they spoke perfect English and could understand words more than two syllabus. They are cream of the crop, or more specifically, elites. I was eavesdropping and most of them come from top colleges, father own two companies, house own three maids wtf.

Good-looking, filthy-rich, inflated with the conceit of education and had high status.

This is but the pecking order of society, sigh. Oh god how can I lament. Oh mother mary why are some people born more privileged. Oh tua pek gong why am I not born the Prince of England wtf.

There are mysterious currents that circulate at parties, sweeping inexorably together - or apart. Skilled socialites know how to ride them, while some like me gets stuck in the boring little eddies around the edge.

The camera flashes almost blinded me. *kaching* *kaching* wtf

The thought of armee dreads me too. I cant even carry 50 plates using one hand.

Okay, here’s an aged-old debate.

Will you rather menstruate until you reach menopause or go to armee for two years?

the most wonderkool thing happened yesterday at work. It made me grin from ear to ear, beam with joy, jump with joy until i hit the roof, okok enough with the proverbs/idioms.

Yesterday’s function was a british (or is it american?) company’s Dinner and Dance held at the East India Room.

The CEO gave me tips!!! When he placed 100 bucks on my tray my eyes gleamed ok! In the end I got 25 bucks only cause I had to share with my colleagues. It’s been hard on you guys! Enjoy the tips, everybuddy! 25 bucks=four hours of work.


Even if the tips is as little as one dollars, the amount of joy I received will still be the same. It’s like a validation of your ability.


I thought receiving tips was an urban legend but…I got the taste of this urban legend and oh my this urban legend tastes so sweet, even better than chocolate fudge cake. Angmohs are so generous, sigh. Asians are so kiamsiap I swear.


Angmohs are so polite. I heard many thank you my dear, thank you sweetie yesterday hahahaha.


Yesterday’s business was a bit tricky when there’s only one table left (10 person left). The CEO was somewhat dissatisfied when the drinks bar was closed then we had to reopen it again at 1am to appease their anger. Oh, and I was appointed to serve them specially to salvage the situation because my china colleagues aren’t as fluent in English/cant memorise drink’s names well so I got the tips yay.


There’s so many names to remember. What gin tonic, bloody mary, chamecaleon???!!!! etc etc. Then some names I forgot I just anyhow recite them to the bartender zzz.

I served the CEO and his colleagues until 2am then he said he was very pleased with my service and he gave tips to motivate young people hahahaha.

Then I said ok sir! Thank you sir! It’s my pleasure to serve you sir! I hope you’ve enjoyed your night sir! So civil wtf.

Oh, I’m starting to love my job now.





The fountain near East India room. The scenery is visually enticing right.



The entry to BBR.


Oh, the hwachong guys cracked the funniest joke yesterday. They said their ambition is to open the hwachong hotel when they grow up.

Dear fairygodmudder, where forth art thou? Please grant me a wish. I need not dazzling glass shoes nor lavish pumpkin coaches.

All I need is an i.c. please please fairygodmudder please grant this itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polkadot wish of mine, with cherry on top of ice please. I promise I’ll be a good boy and come home at 12am sharp. You can spank me if I dont wtf.

There’s so much possibilities in this concrete jungle, imma gonna explore all of them like how divers explore the coral reef.

Upon the stroke of midnight heralded many breathtaking tales! Haven’t you heard?

I’m going to embark on an arduous journey of jobhunting! It’s a journey of no return! It may be futile, futile it may be but a hero like me shall never be hindered by such trivial matters.

Ok, before I continue, if you want to view my password protected entry, please email me at mrotakublog@gmail.com or ask me from msn/call my homephone or sms me or call my handpone wtf. I think its one of the most hilarious entry I’ve written in my 3 years of blogging life, cause got no restrictions so I can curse using the most unorthodox words available without the fear of representing myself falsely muahahaha. I’ve finally utilised the functions of my wordpress!

Wordpress rawkzzzz, can have password protected post. brogger sucks. period.

So I have sent two applications for internships in the past few days and they all got rejected. bravo. excellent. wonderkool.

One is to sph cause I enquired from Alvin and he recommended me to. But I guess since I’m void of experience, have nil talents, nada qualifications and lack social skills, it’s understandable that they don’t wanna employ me.

Sigh, got one rjc guy told me that he can help me pull strings earlier but I rejected him because I was quite confident of my portfolio (articles published in two school publications, creative writing competition 2nd place, english composition marks okay okay, chinese compo everytime score quite high)

but I guess that was not enough. And how I know whether he got dubious intentions not huh. My mum told me not to trust strangers cause not everyone has heart made of gold ok. But now I’m waiting for him to come online, sigh.

I was kidding about that dubious intentions part ok. According to the mindsets of teachers, students who get A grades= morality also A++++++ so dont believe what I say.

So I think I should exploit him now, what say you? Ok, I’m kidding about the exploiting part too. Don’t take my words into heart. I’m the boy who cried wolf. I’m the pinnochio who has a long nose cause I lie like I eat rice.

Maybe I should stop applying for internship cause I lack qualifications/talents/looks/charisma and look for job in a mac and go flip burgers and meddle with frying grease.

But I say mac is a job that has high potential risks. Cause I may end up gobbling the food without self-control and the high cholesterol thingy may block my coronary arteries and pose severe threat to my health.

Ok, job hunting continues tomorrow. Now, I shall get a good nights sleep. bye.

kays, I cant seem to get myself to sleep. Any suggestions to hasten sleep other than counting sheep? k bye.

“Arriba, Arriba, Andele‘, Andele‘, yee-ha, yee-ha!!!!!

ho hum. I need to speed up my gear, get my act up.

Borrowed books from the school library yesterday to ward off my boredom, all thanks to Andre. I have two academcic books over-dued for 6 months, planning to return them only after o’s. Oh, I’m a man with virtues.

I feel so detached from the world today. I need to gain enlightenment somehow. Maybe I should follow Siddhartha Gautama’s footsteps and sit under the bodhi tree. Then, what if an apple drops down? That’ll be Sir Isaac Newton all over again, hurhur.

I’m being flooded with a torrent of conflicting emotions now. Oh, I shouldn’t leave my mind void like that. Unhealthy. Should not let my brain be a hollow chamber and allow it to build castles in the sky. But Einstein found the E=mc2 formula through that way. But I’m not Einstein, haha.

We have so many standards to live up to everyday. I have failed terribly. I have to please cynical old sods, fit into the crowd. Pretend to like people I dont like. I think I’m too skeptical sometimes. Oh, I have so many prejudices, thanks to mr.confucius and my politician-alike family.

People who have sex before marriage are bad. People who have one-night stands are promiscuous

People who smoke are uncouth. Being disrespectful to adults will get strike by lightning.

People who dont study have no goals. Must upkeep racial harmony, so that we will have regional stability and people will invest in us. Must study hard hard to upkeep singapore’s economy.Bear a cradle full of children to save the economy.

Do not be late for school. cannot be gay. gasp. or your mum will throw you out of the house.

Being a chinese is so difficult, everything is about upholding the tradition and flying the flag up high. But at least I’m better than my ancestors who have to wear ponytails. I should count my blessings already.

Ya, whatever. Maybe I should slacken a bit and start to see the good in everyone else, even if they practised sodomy before wtf. *Beams* Humans are so double-standardized sometimes. Teachers tell us not to say fuck and I swear I heard more than three teachers in our school say the big fuck word.

Maybe I should be more optimistic and smile with my mouth full of teeth so that everyone will like me. Oh, who cares about liking me anyway, sigh. I’m overly sarcastic. I should restrain myself a little. Praise everyone around me, even if they don’t deserve it.

Oh, seriously my social skills are crumbling. I should stop being so schizo and assume things. Stop being so preposterous in my presumptions. I like to assume that everyone hates me, and I’ll adjust myself to fit into the norm. I’ll very hard to crack old hard jokes and make everyone rattle with glee. Then when I find that people don’t appreciate my joke, I’ll cringe.

Oh, this entry is so sadistic wtf. It sounds like the person who wrote this just slit his wrist.

okaes, buaix. I’m cheerfullx nowx. hehex. buaix. Imma gonna study A maths now.