18 and hot-blooded. I might dispense useful information once in a while


Prodigal parties and pleasant panties (pantries)

Yesterday’s function at the raffles hotel ballroom was a celebration for the promotion of some armee boys organised by SAF. Participants are all gin nahs and ahsia kias.

Everything was easy breezy japaneasy except when I had a tumultuous time balancing martini glasses on my tray. Martini glasses have erm high centre of gravity and a small base, so you get the drift.

Those armee boys brought their gfs over and oh my all of them were exquisite beauties and were well-endowed. They had hour-glass bodies that ticked like a clock.

All the guys were brimming good health of taut figure and tanned rosy cheeks too. Oh my, I developed inferiority complex directly on the spot. I felt like burrowing a hole on the ground and stuff my head inside. I felt like the ugliest person in the ballroom.

Everyone was acute and discerning, they spoke perfect English and could understand words more than two syllabus. They are cream of the crop, or more specifically, elites. I was eavesdropping and most of them come from top colleges, father own two companies, house own three maids wtf.

Good-looking, filthy-rich, inflated with the conceit of education and had high status.

This is but the pecking order of society, sigh. Oh god how can I lament. Oh mother mary why are some people born more privileged. Oh tua pek gong why am I not born the Prince of England wtf.

There are mysterious currents that circulate at parties, sweeping inexorably together - or apart. Skilled socialites know how to ride them, while some like me gets stuck in the boring little eddies around the edge.

The camera flashes almost blinded me. *kaching* *kaching* wtf

The thought of armee dreads me too. I cant even carry 50 plates using one hand.

Okay, here’s an aged-old debate.

Will you rather menstruate until you reach menopause or go to armee for two years?

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Raffles legend

This is how our uniform looks like when we’re in the banquet department. Our uniform varies when we work in different departments. Ball and billard room’s uniform is red with a black vest.

Me and Nicole, my third lang classmate back at MOELC. We both quitted in sec two because we lacked the mental capacity hahahaha.

the most wonderkool thing happened yesterday at work. It made me grin from ear to ear, beam with joy, jump with joy until i hit the roof, okok enough with the proverbs/idioms.

Yesterday’s function was a british (or is it american?) company’s Dinner and Dance held at the East India Room.

The CEO gave me tips!!! When he placed 100 bucks on my tray my eyes gleamed ok! In the end I got 25 bucks only cause I had to share with my colleagues. It’s been hard on you guys! Enjoy the tips, everybuddy! 25 bucks=four hours of work.

Even if the tips is as little as one dollars, the amount of joy I received will still be the same. It’s like a validation of your ability.

I thought receiving tips was an urban legend but…I got the taste of this urban legend and oh my this urban legend tastes so sweet, even better than chocolate fudge cake. Angmohs are so generous, sigh. Asians are so kiamsiap I swear.

Angmohs are so polite. I heard many thank you my dear, thank you sweetie yesterday hahahaha.

Yesterday’s business was a bit tricky when there’s only one table left (10 person left). The CEO was somewhat dissatisfied when the drinks bar was closed then we had to reopen it again at 1am to appease their anger. Oh, and I was appointed to serve them specially to salvage the situation because my china colleagues aren’t as fluent in English/cant memorise drink’s names well so I got the tips yay.

There’s so many names to remember. What gin tonic, bloody mary, chamecaleon???!!!! etc etc. Then some names I forgot I just anyhow recite them to the bartender zzz.

I served the CEO and his colleagues until 2am then he said he was very pleased with my service and he gave tips to motivate young people hahahaha.

Then I said ok sir! Thank you sir! It’s my pleasure to serve you sir! I hope you’ve enjoyed your night sir! So civil wtf.

Oh, I’m starting to love my job now.

The fountain near East India room. The scenery is visually enticing right.

The entry to BBR.

Oh, the hwachong guys cracked the funniest joke yesterday. They said their ambition is to open the hwachong hotel when they grow up.

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Dear fairygodmudder

Dear fairygodmudder, where forth art thou? Please grant me a wish. I need not dazzling glass shoes nor lavish pumpkin coaches.

All I need is an i.c. please please fairygodmudder please grant this itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polkadot wish of mine, with cherry on top of ice please. I promise I’ll be a good boy and come home at 12am sharp. You can spank me if I dont wtf.

There’s so much possibilities in this concrete jungle, imma gonna explore all of them like how divers explore the coral reef.

Upon the stroke of midnight heralded many breathtaking tales! Haven’t you heard?

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